To paraphrase Jerry Seinfeld; in sports, everything from the players to the coaches to the stadiums of your favourite team changes, so you are basically left just supporting the kits.
Well, in 21st-century football (or soccer to Jerry) even those change every year too.
With the new Premier League season barrelling over the horizon like Harry Maguire marauding into the penalty box for a set-piece, it’s high time for an entirely subjective ranking (filled with deeply personal biases) of all 20 of the brand new Premier League home kits for 2019/20 now we know how the teams will be togged up.
Disagree? Please direct any Twitter abuse to Chris Deeley.
Still, Southampton’s social team made a funny launch video so that makes up for a season of having to wear it, maybe?
19. Norwich City
Colours fading into each other, check. God awful oversized betting sponsor, check. Unnecessarily busy collar and shoulders, check and check. This is crummy kits 101 stuff.
18. Newcastle United
It’s almost like Mike Ashley designed this kit himself as another way of getting at the souls of the Newcastle fans.
17. Sheffield United
The kit itself is actually fine. You know what, it’s actually nice. That sponsor though…shudder.
16. Crystal Palace
Recent Crystal Palace kits are inherently quite unattractive, for me. There’s something about the colour combo and tendency to make them overly busy. This one is not really any exception.
Away kit is a lot of fun to be fair.
15. Wolverhampton Wanderers
A huge downgrade on last season’s delight. It just seems more garish than 2018/19 and, yes, obviously the sponsor is atrocious.
Oh good, another betting company sponsor.
Umbro’s design team have given it some welly, which is nice to see, but the overall result strays into ‘just a bit naff’ territory.
It’s also physically impossible to imagine a trophy presentation for a team wearing Angry Birds on their sleeves.
12. Manchester City
Purple is an odd trim choice but it just about works…does it?
My completely irrational perception is that it isn’t a ‘champions’ kit, whatever that means.
10. Brighton & Hove Albion
Purely on looks, it’s one of the better designs, no doubt, but there is barely any change from last season’s effort bar a couple of added stripes. Oh and now the Nike logo is now gold. So there’s that.
9. West Ham United
The top on its own is lovely but seeing it as a full ensemble I remain a little unconvinced. Although, I realise I’m in the minority.
Possibly blue shorts would’ve been better.
8. Manchester United
Huge improvement on last season. Good looking kit that has avoided the cardinal sin of over-design. Big badge works, but the ’99 references probably need to stop now.
7. Aston Villa
Like Burnley’s, but better.
Ignore the people in the image who look like they would call you ‘clean shirt’ and ask if you could buy them alcohol outside the off-licence.
6. Leicester City
There aren’t mega changes since last season but the chequered pattern and the gold are nice touches.
Last day for pre-orders‼️
Select the next day shipping option for guaranteed delivery before Friday July 26 release ️
— Watford Football Club (@WatfordFC) July 22, 2019
The sponsor is an eyesore but that’s applicable to a solid 75% of all kits here in the ex-Barclays.
Black and yellow halves (presumably inspired by Watford’s tendency to have two wildly contrasting halves to the season) is a nice look, especially with the bits of red trim.
Yes, it looks like a training kit but training kits are great. More of this.
3. Tottenham Hotspur
When less is very much more. Inspired by Spurs’ trophy cabinet (weyyyy banter), Nike have gone minimalistic and the result is really lovely.
New Balance have fluctuated between the iffy and the sublime with their kit designs but this is definitely in the latter category. Why don’t all teams wear pinstripes?
Welcome home, @adidasfootball
Like the look of our new home kit? You can get yours right here
— Arsenal FC (@Arsenal) July 1, 2019
The obvious choice (sorry) but it is a stone cold classic.
One for future hipsters to wear to five-a-side with ‘Jenkinson’ emblazoned on the back.