Category Archives: News

8 of the Worst Player Names in Unlicensed Football Video Games

So, we’ve just done the ​worst ever team names in unlicensed football games, but that opened up an entirely new rabbit hole that we could not resist getting lost down.

Over the years, there have been some astonishing player names in various unlicensed games. Some are fairly easy to work out, but others have built up an almost cult following as a result of their greatness.

There are thousands to choose from, but here are eight of the worst player names in unlicensed football games.


Porn Darry

Paul Parry

Starting off strong. Back in Pro Evolution Soccer 2009, there weren’t too many players with real names. However, none of these fake names were as great as Porn Darry.

The unlucky man to be stuck with this name was ​Cardiff City winger Paul Parry, who soon became somewhat of a cult hero amongst players. I mean, just look at that name. Porn Darry.

It will always be remembered as one of the most bizarre names ever given to a player, but it certainly earned Parry more than a few new fans as a result.


Jens Mustermann

Oliver Kahn

The Football Manager series is beloved by fans across the world, although many were left scratching their heads by the earlier versions of the game when they came across a German goalkeeper by the name of Jens Mustermann. Who was this mystery man?

It turned out that Mustermann was ​Bayern Munich icon Oliver Kahn, who declined to sell his image rights to the company. As a result, FM was unable to include his name, so they went for Jens Mustermann.

This name is cleverer than you may think. In German, Jens Mustermann is a generic name often given to somebody without a name, similar to ‘Joe Bloggs’ or ‘Jane Doe’. Well played, FM. Well played.


Allejo

FUSSBALL: NATIONALMANNSCHAFT BRASILIEN/BRAZIL/BRA am 25.03.98

International Superstar Soccer had to rename all their players, and Allejo was the name given to Brazilian striker Bebeto when it was released in 1994. It’s hardly the funniest of names, but Allejo means more to fans than most will ever understand.

The kind of things which Allejo could do were completely unheard of. He could pull off skills that didn’t even exist, and he could score goals that even most video game characters would struggle to replicate. He was a national icon.

Gamers will tell you he is actually one of the greatest Brazilian footballers of all time. Pele who?


Ryan Greggs

FBL-EUR-C3-MAN UTD-MIDTJYLLAND

In PES’ defence, this one actually isn’t too far away from the original. Ryan Greggs was the name given to ​Manchester United legend Ryan Giggs, which certainly caused more than a few laughs amongst fans of the English bakery by the same name..

Whether he sells sausage rolls or bangs in thirty-yard screamers, Ryan Greggs could do it all. The Welsh winger was one of the game’s best players, and fans loved him.

One of those rare players who you could actually identify with little thought, Greggs was a breath of fresh air.


Gascoign

Graeme Le Saux

If you looked at the England squad in ISS and found a player by the name of Gascoign, who would you think that was? ​Perhaps famous midfielder Paul Gascoigne? Nope, it was actually Graeme Le Saux. Obviously.

Gascoigne’s own name in the game was ‘J. Platt’, who you might have thought was actually David Platt. Again, you’d be wrong, as Platt was actually known as ‘K. Hoddle’. Fortunately, Glenn Hoddle was already retired by then, or else fans would have been totally lost.

It’s like ISS just decided to give everyone someone else’s name, which made life so much harder than it needed to be. Just stick to fake names. Please.


Snake Derick

Steve Davis

I could give you all the time in the world to guess who Snake Derick was in the PES series, and you still wouldn’t get it. That was the epic name given to Rangers midfielder Steven Davis.

Be honest, you would love the name ‘Snake’. It sounds like a Hollywood villain, which is the look everyone’s going for these days.

Back to Davis, why he would be given the name is anyone’s guess. Is he slippery? Does he slither around the pitch? Does he walk around with a rattle?


Oranges117

Robin van Persie

The Netherlands has produced some incredible players in the past. There’s Matthijs de Ligt, Ruud Gullit and Arjen Robben but who could forget about the mighty Oranges117?

PES 2 didn’t have the license for any of the Dutch side, so they were all given numbers, ranging from 001 to 117. Their team sheet was an absolute nightmare to understand, but Oranges117 was the name given to striker Robin van Persie.

Ah, Oranges117. We’ve all seen the shirts with his name on the back. Children have posters of Oranges117 up in their bedrooms. We all love the icon that was Oranges117.


No. 9

Brazilian forward Ronaldo jubilates afte

We have seen some incredible strikers in the past, but few number nines have been better than ‘No. 9’.

FIFA 2000 was a fully licensed game, but was missing the rights to global superstar Ronaldo. ​Inter had the likes of Christian Vieri and Roberto Baggio, but they had to line up alongside ‘No. 9’, given Ronaldo did not give his permission for his name to be used in the game.

It just looked so out of place, in a game which had perfectly correct squads everywhere else. ‘No. 9’ stuck out like a sore thumb, but he was still one of the best strikers in the game.

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Christian Pulisic Distances Himself From Comparisons to Eden Hazard Ahead of Debut Season at Chelsea

Chelsea winger Christian Pulisic has insisted that he isn’t a direct replacement for Eden Hazard, who left the Blues for Real Madrid in a £130m deal earlier this summer.

Pulisic officially signed for Chelsea in January, but after being loaned back to Borussia Dortmund for the remainder of the season, he joined up with his new teammates for the first time this week.


However, the USA international is wary that his role at Stamford Bridge could be misunderstood and has moved to reassure ​Chelsea supporters.

Speaking to the club’s ​official website, Pulisic said: “Right now it’s just about going in and helping the team any way I can.

“It’s bringing intensity into the training first of all, improving and earning my respects at the beginning. Then I obviously want to help out as much as I can on the pitch. I want to come in right away and give energy to the team, whether that’s being part of the starting team or being given minutes.”

Eden Hazard

Discussing the comparison with the outgoing ​Hazard, the American said: “I’m not here to compare. Eden was amazing and did so well for this club. 

“He was an incredible player the whole time he was at Chelsea. For me it’s about coming in as my own player, improving myself and doing the best I can to help this team.”

The 20-year-old’s desire to develop is clear to see and he revealed that he is looking forward to working under Blues legend Frank Lampard: “I watched him [Lampard] of course, and it’s great to have him here helping us. 

“He was a great leader as a player and now he’s here as the coach and he’s giving us really important information. It’s great to have him on this side.

There are top players at this club. I knew that coming in here and it’s only going to make me better; it’s going to improve my game working every day with these guys and I am excited for the challenge.”

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Barcelona vs Chelsea Preview: Where to Watch, Live Stream, Kick Off Time & Team News

​This pre-season clash sees La Liga champions Barcelona face off against Europa League winners Chelsea in the Rakuten Cup on Tuesday.

The match will be Barcelona’s first runabout of pre-season and with a number of their B team players called up into the travelling squad, it’s a great opportunity for the youngsters to impress ahead of the La Liga season.

Chelsea boss Lampard may look to tinker with his squad to find the winning formula as the Blues prepare for the Premier League season with a transfer ban looming the club. 

If previous meetings between these two are anything to go by, Tuesday’s match looks set to be a cracker. 


Here is 90min’s preview of the game.


Where to Watch

When Is Kick Off? Tuesday 23 July
What Time Is Kick Off? 11:30 (BST)
Where Is it Played? Saitama Stadium
TV Channel/Live Stream? Chelsea TV/ESPN 2
Referee? TBC

Team News

A number of key players have been left out of the travelling ​Barcelona squad due to their participation in the Copa America. Ernesto Valverde has given extended leave to the likes of ​Lionel Messi, Philippe Coutinho and ​Luis Suarez.

Kawasaki Frontale v Chelsea - Preseason Friendly

For Chelsea, both Tammy Abraham and goalkeeper Kepa Arrizabalaga missed out against Kawasaki Frontale through illness.

Midfielder N’Golo Kante has ​returned to the UK as he steps up his rehabilitation for a knee injury suffered at the end of last season. The Frenchmen has been unable to play a part in Chelsea’s pre-season thus far.

Chelsea are also without ​Ruben Loftus-Cheek, Callum Hudson-Odoi, ​Willian and ​Antonio Rudiger as they continue their rehabilitation from long-term injuries. 


Predicted Lineups

Barcelona Neto; Semedo, Todibo, Umtiti, Alba; Monchu, Busquets, De Jong; Malcom, Abe, Griezmann.
Chelsea Caballero; Azpilicueta, Zouma, Christensen, Alonso; Barkley, Mount, Bakayoko; Pedro, Kenedy, Giroud. 

Recent Form

​Barcelona’s game against ​Chelsea will be their first pre-season fixture of the year. The Catalan giants ended the season with only one win in their last five, including a shock 4-0 loss to ​Liverpool that sent them crashing out of the ​Champions League. ​

Ernesto Valverde

​Chelsea have had a mixed bag of results in their recent fixtures. The Blues suffered their first defeat under Lampard in a 1-0 loss to Japanese side Kawasaki Frontale. Despite this pre-season blip, Chelsea ended last season well, securing the Europa League title after beating rivals ​Arsenal in Baku. 

Barcelona Chelsea
Barcelona 1-2 Valencia (25/5) Kawasaki Frontale 1-0 Chelsea (19/7)
Eibar 2-2 Barcelona (19/5) St Patrick’s Athletic 0-4 Chelsea (13/7)
Barcelona 2-0 Getafe (12/5) Bohemians 1-1 Chelsea (10/7)
Liverpool 4-0 Barcelona (7/5) Chelsea 4-1 Arsenal (29/5)
Celta Vigo 2-0 Barcelona (4/5) New England Revolution 0-3 Chelsea (16/5)

Prediction

Barcelona look set to field a team missing a number of key senior players, whereas the Chelsea lineup will be formidable and eager to avenge their loss against Kawasaki Frontale. 

A tight encounter is expected, but Chelsea might just edge it.

Prediction: Barcelona 1-2 Chelsea.

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Chelsea: The 4 Players the Blues Must Sell This Summer Despite the Transfer Ban

Since Roman Abramovich took over at Chelsea in 2003, the Blues have become a team that have always looked to the transfer market to solve their problems. This has meant that even with a list of players owned by the club almost reaching three figures, Chelsea have always bought their way out of sticky situations.

This is all changing this summer though, with Chelsea transfer banned for two windows following in-proper approaches in signing Under-18 players. Though Chelsea are appealing this decision, it means they’ll be forced to go through this summer transfer window without signing any players.

This however doesn’t mean that the Blues should hold back on trimming the fat at Chelsea. With the club in possession of so many talented players, these are four players that are surplus to requirement at Stamford Bridge.


David Luiz

David Luiz

At the age of 32, Luiz is past his prime and on a steady defensive decline. Currently enjoying his second spell at Chelsea, Luiz has amassed an impressive 160 appearances for the club, but his best days in the blue shirt are all but gone.

Though Luiz himself is a great character in the dressing room and a valuable servant to the club, he is bast his sell-by date as a physical talent. This, coupled with the ability of the likes of Kurt Zouma, Andreas Christensen, Antonio Rüdiger and even César Azpilicueta, means that Luiz should soon be shown the door at Stamford Bridge.

David Luiz recently signed a two-year contract extension with Chelsea, which means he’s likely to stay with the club for at least another year. But if he is to stay, he should be given a back seat and the younger players at Chelsea should be given the chance to strut their stuff.


Tiemoue Bakayoko

FBL-ITA-SERIEA-TORINO-MILAN

Tiémoué Bakayoko has just returned to Chelsea following a divisive loan spell at AC Milan. Though Bakayoko did well to turn his time at San Siro, in the second half of the season he fell out with management a proved to difficult to be deal with in the dressing room. 

Having signed from AS Monaco in 2017 for £40m, Bakayoko never really hit his stride at Stamford Bridge. With a handful of expensive errors and a bad attitude, Bakayoko looked anything but ready for life in the Premier League.

Now that Lampard is manager of Chelsea and Kante is more than likely set to return to his favoured defensive role in the midfield, it doesn’t leave much room for the likes of Bakayoko to break into the team. Therefore Chelsea should look to cash in on the player while they still can. 


Willian

Willian

Willian is praised for almost single handedly keeping Chelsea in the top half of the table during the 15/16 season. However, his decision making in the attack in recent years has left many Chelsea fans furious on more than one occasion, often choosing to try and rifle one home rather than teeing up a team mate for an easier shot on goal.

This has hampered Willian’s stats for Chelsea, leaving Willian with a mere 28 goals and 32 assists in 198 Premier League appearances for the club. For a club that has such high demands and expectations, it’s amazing that Willian is still making regular appearances at Stamford Bridge.

With the likes of Callum Hudson-Odoi, Pedro, Christian Pulisic and even at times Ruben Loftus-Cheek able to play on the wings, the interest from Barcelona in Willian should be catered to, not rejected.


Davide Zappacosta

Davide Zappacosta

Davide Zappacosta was signed by Antonio Conte in order to play in the Italian’s five at the back formation. With Conte since departing and Azpilicueta now holding down the right full-back position, Zappacosta has struggled for game time for the Blues.

Even more significant to his situation is the return of the likes of Reece James and Fikayo Tomori, both younger and home-grown players coming off the back of incredibly impressive seasons playing in Zappacosta’s favoured position. Given James’ dominance for Wigan and Tomori’s time under Lampard at Derby, Zappacosta’s time at the Bridge looks up.

Though on his day Zappacosta provides an attacking threat from defence, his defensive capabilities aren’t up to scratch. Although he is more experienced than the youngsters returning to the team, Azpilicueta at the very least will be keeping the Italian out of the team. With that in mind Chelsea should look to sell off Zappacosta and allow James and Tomori to gain some experience behind club captain César Azpilicueta.


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Ethan Ampadu: RB Leipzig Is the Perfect Loan Destination for the Wales Starlet

​As pre-season continues, Chelsea manager Frank Lampard has made the big decision to let wonderkid Ethan Ampadu go on loan for the duration of the 2019/20 season. The Welsh youngster only featured scarcely last season, make a total five appearances for the senior team due to injuries and the depth of the squad.

According to reports, Ampadu has completed his medical ahead of a proposed loan move to Leipzig.

Below are some of the reason why this is the perfect move for the youngster to make: 


The Jadon Sancho Effect

Jadon Sancho

In recent seasons, the German top league has been somewhat of a haven for young British players to go and develop, as opportunities in the Premier League are few and far between. Their willingness to showcase talent bodes nicely for young players who want game time to develop.

Of course the standout example is Jadon Sancho, who at the age of 18 has managed to become a vital part of Dortmund’s first team. Other players who have played in the league include ​Ademola Lookman, Reece Oxford and ​Reiss Nelson.

Without the guarantee of first team football in England, the Bundesliga and Leipzig seem like a right fit for now. 


Healthy Competition for Places

Ethan Ampadu

But while there have been more chances made available to young British talent in the Bundesliga, Ampadu will face fierce competition for a place in the starting XI at one of Germany’s top clubs. 

The Leipzig squad currently boasts five centre backs and three defensive midfielders, which means the youngster will face an uphill battle to feature in the starting lineup week in, week out. However, if he is able to, it will be incredibly impressive, and will be viewed as such by his parent club Chelsea. 


Julian Nagelsmann

Julian Nagelsmann

Say hello to Leipzig’s new manage: Julian Nagelsmann, one of the most exciting tactical talents in world football. 

Nicknamed ‘Baby Mourinho’, he became the youngest manager in Bundesliga at the age of 28, and has blossomed into one of the very best in the years since. 

And, as Ampadu will be happy to hear, he has a great track record developing young players.

Due to this Ampadu, definitely will not be overlooked, as the fact that he can play in both midfield and defence will make him a hugely valuable asset to the young manager. 


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